Galaxy Empires I

I've created a new blog of the original story I was working on before I started the one I wrote for the class.  Because I feel that I've learned something from writing class I'm currently making modifications to the story.  I'm still on the first episode and have about 5 stories that haven't been written yet.

At this moment of posting I have the cover page up but not the revised story itself yet.

http://galaxyempires.blogspot.com/2013/05/galaxy-empire-cover-page.html

Hi, guys! Thanks so much Sarah for putting this blog together. I'm so excited to keep writing and critiquing! Here's my 1000 words. I reworked the beginning for Bonded and want to know what you guys think. (Keep in mind the old beginning - starting with Shalayn's shpeel about the Bond, which is the same, and then going into Heem and Shalayn traveling to the school.) Are we going to critique next Thursday? How do we want to work that? Let me know what you guys think!

Chapter 1: Shalayn

I hate the name Shay. 

It’s too short. It’s irritating. It sounds like a boy’s name.

Luckily, that is not my name. My name is Shalayn, which isn’t as bad.

The first time I met Heem, I told him not to call me Shay, and he’s never forgotten. Not once.

“Shay! How are you? How do you like school so far?”

That was not Heem.

That was Jaesa, my roommate. I don’t like her very much.

            I shrugged and hefted my backpack further up onto my shoulders. “Eh. It’s okay. I think I’ll like it more once Heem and I get into the Military Program.”

            Jaesa’s face fell. “Oh… you’re thinking of applying to that?” She shifted her weight. “Well, I guess, since… you know… you’re…”

            I raised an eyebrow. “Different? Special?”

            Jaesa nodded and breathed out. “Yes. Different. I guess it would be a good thing for you to…”

            “It would be a good thing, wouldn’t it?”

            Heem and I made the Bond the moment we were born.

Well, that’s what therapists and psychologists and doctors say. I’m tired of them all, but Heem says it’s important to figure out, as Jaesa so kindly put it, why we’re “different.”

            I think I agree with him. To me, the Bond is so natural that I don’t see why other people don’t do it the way we did.

I guess they don’t have much of a choice. Heem and I didn’t.

            Because of this Bond I’ve had Heem’s thoughts in my head throughout my entire life. Our parents figured it out eventually and arranged our meeting when we were seven years old. He was exactly the way I had pictured him.

            I looked down the school hallway, wondering where Heem was. I couldn’t read his thoughts to find out. He had to let me in, to send me those thoughts. We were still working on seeing through each other’s eyes, otherwise I would’ve tried that.

I wondered how I could get away from Jaesa, who was laughing to cover the awkward silence.

            Heem… Where are you?

Chapter 2

“Heem Alrayun.”

            “Present!” I responded with an eager voice, and a few of my classmates snickered. I put my hand down and lowered my eyes to my notebook. The teacher put a mark by my name and continued with the list of students.

There were about fifty of us in the class - Basics of Bonding, required by all students at the Mind Education University. Shalayn was in History of Bonding, her first class of the day as well.

 My fingers drummed on the desk. I was anxious to learn. Though Shalayn and I had had the Bond our whole lives, we really didn’t know the basics of it, and we were still struggling to get stronger.

            The teacher was a tall woman with dark hair pulled back in a bun, and she wore a dark blue business suit. On her forehead was a tattoo of a hollow black circle. This mark showed that she had completed the Teaching Graduate Program at the school.

She turned to write on the screen that covered the entire wall at the front of the room, which projected an image for her to interact with. I felt a little out of place as students tapped on their wrist screens to activate them to take notes. My parents had never been able to afford a wrist screen for me, and now… Now they were gone. It still hurt sometimes, though it had happened so long ago.

            “My name is Professor Traiga.” The teacher jolted me out of my thoughts.  I leaned forward in my chair and held my pen poised above my notebook.

            “In this class you will learn many things, including the basics of forming a Bond and what you will be able to do once a Bond is made.” She smiled. “Most of the political leaders in Ilethee’s history were Bonded.”

I scribbled notes, amazed. I hadn’t known that.

“The political advantage of having someone in your thoughts, advising you and keeping your power in check, has now made it mandatory. All leaders in the military and police force are also Bonded.”

Students looked at each other, smiling. That was probably why most of them were here.

It was Shalayn’s goal to become a leader in the military, a prestigious position. Ilethee was a planet wealthy in ardenite metal, and it seemed like we were always under attack from other planets trying to steal it. There was a constant demand for strong, Bonded soldiers and leaders.

The thought of entering the military terrified me, but how could I stand in the way of her dream? It wasn’t like Shalayn could Bond to someone else and enroll. She was stuck. Stuck with me.

“Making the Bond is a special and significant event.” Traiga continued. “The Bond must be learned and carefully controlled, or it can be dangerous.”

            I frowned. Dangerous?

            Traiga waved a hand, and the definitions she had written fled to one side of the screen. She continued to write. “Bonding is performed only in pairs, one male and one female. Upon graduation from this academy, you will choose a partner to Bond with for life. Your partner will also become your spouse, so choose carefully.”

            I frowned. This topic had been on my mind, though Shalayn and I had never spoken about it. I would’ve liked nothing better than to marry Shalayn – someday. I loved her. But I kept those feelings buried deep down, never letting a trickle slip through the Bond.

I wanted her to be able to make her own choice. If choosing was even possible.

            “There are many abilities you can acquire when Bonded.” Traiga smiled. “You can share thoughts, emotions, and images. You can move objects…” Traiga stared at the class.

            Suddenly, I felt my desk shake. What was happening? I looked around at the confused students. Our chairs and desks began to lift off the ground! Students cried out across the room, and I gripped the sides of my desk as we rose into the air. I breathed a sigh of relief when Traiga lowered us down.

            I stared at the professor, amazed. She and her partner were strong. Shalayn and I were still working on sharing images with each other, let alone lifting objects. It was one of the many things we were hoping to learn here.

Professor Traiga continued with her lecture. I reinforced the Bond with Shalayn, building up the strength of the connection between us to make sure she was paying attention in her class.

            Shalayn. Shalayn! Wake up!

        I felt her stirring, so I turned my attention back to the professor, scribbling down the definitions she was writing.

            Traiga stopped midsentence, and her pen froze. “Someone in here is Bonding.”

            I stiffened.

            “Some graduates think it’s funny to come back to their old classes, is that it? Tell me who you are. There are wards in here, devices that will signal to me if and where a Bond is being employed, so I will find you eventually.”

            I shoved the Bond down so I could just barely feel Shalayn’s presence. My palms began to sweat. So many students, all of them looking around the classroom… And the teacher. She continued to pace, closer, closer…

            I raised my hand, and all heads turned to look at me.

            “You look young for a graduate student. What’s your name?” Professor Traiga said.

            I cleared my throat. “It’s Heem… Heem Alrayun. I’m a first year student.”

            Traiga frowned.  “So you’re the one they told me about.” She paused. “Why are you here, if you’ve already made the Bond?”

            I could feel Shalayn pushing on the Bond, trying to reinforce it, and I swallowed. It took a moment of concentration to press her down. I would have to explain later.

            I felt my face turning red. “The president of the school… he decided it would be better for us to start out in these lower level classes.”

Traiga pursed her lips. “Very well.” She handed me her pen. “Please go to the screen and write the six steps that must be accomplished to form a Bond. To form a normal, regular Bond. I hope you read the assigned chapter.”

The class laughed, and my chair squeaked against the floor when I scraped it back. Fifty sets of eyes followed as I walked to the front of the room. 

Let's Keep the Group Going!

Hey fellow writers, I hope you are all having a marvelous summer! Sorry it's taken me a few weeks to get a blog up and going. I've invited you all as co-authors which means you should all be able to post your writing to the blog. You all are also allowed to change whatever you want--templates, title, etc. Let's get our creative juices flowing and see what you have all been working on. :)